What’s your IKIGAI?

IKIGAI: a reason for being. Whenever you are puzzled about your career, happiness and meaning of your life, try finding your ikigai that can be a lamp to know your way. Ikigai is seen as the point in the center of interconnection of 4 components:

• Mission: What you love
• Passion: What you’re good at
• Vocation: What the world needs
• Profession: What you can get paid for

Great! this formula can be my guidance. But what if I couldn’t get answer for all these with my choice of life?

The most common questions that make someone to step back in deciding their ikigai are:

1. Does doing this job really make me happy ALL THE TIME without boring?
2. Am I good enough to follow my passion?
3. Will I have a future scope if I take up my passion as my career?
4. Will the world support me if I choose to do what I love?

All these fear arise out of the priorities you give for things in your life and defining your ikigai depends on this. Say, your mission is painting and your passion is also that. If it didn’t satisfy the rest of the questions, should I bid farewell to my wish? If it is the society that comes to your mind first and you depend on them,then this couldn’t be your ikigai. If your blood relations are the choice, then this is not perfect ikigai for you. But if it is “You” whom you rank first, then obviously this could be your best ikigai.

In their book “Ikigai The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life”, Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles broke down the ten rules that can help anyone find their own ikigai.

1. Stay active and don’t retire

2. Leave urgency behind and adopt a slower pace of life

3. Only eat until you are 80 per cent full

4. Surround yourself with good friends

5. Get in shape through daily, gentle exercise

6. Smile and acknowledge people around you

7. Reconnect with nature

8. Give thanks to anything that brightens our day and makes us feel alive.

9. Live in the moment

10. Follow your ikigai

Last but not the least, ask the question “WHY” until you reach the core level of any problem. And never forget one things, “No decision is a wrong decision. Do what you feel because it’s your life.”

Why do you like me?

When I’m posted with this question from my favorites, I’m stuck with blankness. Because the truth is I don’t know the answer. There’s this dilemma always between the statements “There could be no reason to like a person” and “There could be no reason to hate a person”. People use it as per their convenience. But I don’t want to fall into that ocean. I want to know which statement holds atleast the nearest truth, at least for answering my dear ones.

There are few people whom we like at the first sight itself without any reason. It’s not just because they are beautiful, there are many scientific reasons behind it. Number one is, “schemata” which means, their face structure will be similar to those we have likings/related already. For example, if someone is similar to any of our favorite actor or actress, we tend to like that person on the first itself. That’s the reason why new born babies gets attached with their relatives easier than their parents’ friends. Number two, “deja vu moments” which means, on seeing some people we get the feeling that we have met them somewhere earlier. Such moments might be due to some pre-birth bonds. Though such ideas are not encouraged by many, it is scientifically proven.

The above mentioned reasons will cover only 20% of the relationships’ durability. There are many bonds which lost its strength due to the aftermath effects of the compatibility. So the remaining 80% depends on how they both carry the bond. It is in their hands whether to colour it with bright shades or paint it black and white by finding faults.

A relationship goes through the basic six emotions of human being. Before explaining the journey of relationship, here are the basic 6 emotions: Happy, Surprise, Sad, Fear, Anger and Disgust. Beginning of a relationship will be alluring, everything will seem to be perfect, they will feel blessed, in short they will be in cloud nine every single moment. In depth, these happens because human brain will be so excited in knowing new things, they spend lot of time in asking questions, seeing things from the same point of view. They will be ready to compromise to be liked by the other. In order to impress the other, they pamper them with care and love to surprise them. Even in little events, they work to astonish the other. In depth, doing so will increase the expectation level on each other. In the due course, when either of them fail to act as per the other’s expectation, there comes the brother ‘disappointment’, of the next guy ‘sadness’. This is the stage where the amygdala (seat of emotions in brain) comes into role. People who handles this stage consciously and sensibly will get through all the other emotions and will lead a balanced relationship. But those who fail will fall in line with the succeeding emotions. Getting back to the track, sadness, such unfullfillments lead the person to feel blue, feel dejected. This feeling might cause the fear of being left alone or fear due to possessiveness. Most of the times this fear of one person is mis-conceptualized as ‘taking control’ of the other’s life. For example, if A is afraid about losing B, where B is a carefree person. Everytime when B goes out with other friends without informing A and A asks about the actions, B misunderstands it as ‘A is taking charge of his life activities’. Such arguments will lead to anger of A as well as B. Even this stage can be mended when they are ready to sit and sort things out. If the relationship and the person is their priority they will step forward to untie the complications but on the other hand, if their ego comes in front even the God can’t help them. As a last stage, when they are not ready to ‘right the wrong’, even the feel about the other person will lead to disgust which will be the trigger to end their relationship.
So it’s all at the hearts of the individuals to weigh which is important for them, the person or the ego!

Real love is when a person is ready to handle the 80% of the durability by surpassing all the hurdles just for your presence in their life! Beyond these, patience and understanding will help you to gain your loved ones love!