This/That

This silent war inside me shuts me often.
Where should I go?
Behind what my heart desires?
or
Behind what my mind instructs?

I’m entering a wood to collect wood for my family’s bread.
Once I stepped into it,
the moment my feet touches the moist soil,
I start falling for the beauty.

The trees are enclosing the beauty of its mother. I was dragged to explore the artwork of God without any compulsion.
I traced the leaves in the branches,
OMG! I need to get the wood!-but
I paced forward.

Butterflies, which is at the verge of extinction, were there as if that place was their ‘species-gathering’ hall. They were landing from flower to flower like the bungee jumpers do.
OMG! Humans! My family! I need to get wood for them!- but
I stood there mesmerized.

The enchanting colour of Lord Krishna was painted over the sky.Allover the sky. What if that becomes my swimming pool to stretch myself and get out of all the pain in evey stroke I make.
OMG! Pool! My home! I need to get wood for my family!-but
I wide opened my hands to feel the clouds.

The water falling there, at ten feet in front of me is calling. I revered its distinctive feature. Only that could wipe  away the tears and make a person as dainty as a saint. Maybe that’s my assumption. The nature ushered me to the waterfall. The toe, then my palm, and here, my feet is inside the purest creations of God.I felt the fishes taking high jumps with my feet as their hurdles.

OMG! Hurdles! Humans! I need to get wood for my family!-but

Now I have to leave.

Leave this place of serenity, beauty, safety. When I’m here I didn’t feel any of the responsibilities that was burdened on me. I dwelled in a place where I lived my life to the fullest. I heard my inner voice speaking to me.

But now I have to decide which path should I choose.

I know for sure that I can come back here anytime but not now because my family is waiting there for me for wood. But there’s something I don’t know for sure.

Will this place be the same when I come back?

Won’t the butterflies fly away when I come back?

Won’t the leaves get away from the trees when I come back?

I don’t know…

I don’t know which path to choose…